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Chuck Norris poops light sabers.

Rated 3.38/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris scored a hat trick once in a hockey game....he was at home.

Rated 3.25/5 (4 Votes)

Albert Einstein once told Chuck Norris he was smarter than him. Afterwards, Albert Einstein was embarrassed and changed his name. He is now known as Stephen Hawking.

Rated 3.38/5 (8 Votes)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty back together again. So they asked Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.11/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris simply walks into Mordor.

Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris has no need to hack games, he hacks life.

Rated 3.86/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris has cows grilling his steaks for him.

Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)

When Chuck Norris is thirsty, he drinks a 6 pack. To Chuck Norris, a 6 pack is 6 kegs tied together with barbed wire.

Rated 3.95/5 (19 Votes)

The Hell's Angels, the Mafia and the Marines ended up in the same bar together. There was no trouble though because the bouncer was Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.81/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris drinks Dracula's blood.

Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not say "thank you", that would imply you had the option to decline his request.

Rated 4.09/5 (75 Votes)

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin built by his own two hands.

Rated 4.11/5 (63 Votes)

Chuck Norris can kill you 101 different ways with a roll of extra-soft toilet paper.

Rated 3.24/5 (54 Votes)

Chuck Norris can swim with one finger.

Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris can blow a bubble with a brick.

Rated 3.79/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris sleeps underwater.

Rated 2.8/5 (15 Votes)

You know how many friends Chuck Norris has on twitter zero cause no one is brave enough to flollow Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.03/5 (35 Votes)

Chuck Norris won a Pulitzer for his "Karate for Dummies" booklet.

Rated 4.09/5 (23 Votes)

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make him eat Tequila jello shots.

Rated 3.42/5 (92 Votes)

Chuck Norris has to wear a seatbelt while using the toilet because of the recoil.

Rated 3.96/5 (26 Votes)
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