Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris poops light sabers.
Rated 3.38/5 (8 Votes)
Chuck Norris scored a hat trick once in a hockey game....he was at home.
Rated 3.25/5 (4 Votes)
Albert Einstein once told Chuck Norris he was smarter than him. Afterwards, Albert Einstein was embarrassed and changed his name. He is now known as Stephen Hawking.
Rated 3.43/5 (7 Votes)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty back together again.
So they asked Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.11/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris simply walks into Mordor.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris has no need to hack games, he hacks life.
Rated 3.86/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris has cows grilling his steaks for him.
Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)
When Chuck Norris is thirsty, he drinks a 6 pack.
To Chuck Norris, a 6 pack is 6 kegs tied together with barbed wire.
Rated 3.95/5 (19 Votes)
The Hell's Angels, the Mafia and the Marines ended up in the same bar together. There was no trouble though because the bouncer was Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.81/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris drinks Dracula's blood.
Rated 3.82/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not say "thank you", that would imply you had the option to decline his request.
Rated 4.09/5 (75 Votes)
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin built by his own two hands.
Rated 4.11/5 (62 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill you 101 different ways with a roll of extra-soft toilet paper.
Rated 3.8/5 (40 Votes)
Chuck Norris can swim with one finger.
Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can blow a bubble with a brick.
Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris sleeps underwater.
Rated 2.8/5 (15 Votes)
You know how many friends Chuck Norris has on twitter zero cause no one is brave enough to flollow Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.03/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris won a Pulitzer for his "Karate for Dummies" booklet.
Rated 4.05/5 (22 Votes)
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make him eat Tequila jello shots.
Rated 3.42/5 (92 Votes)
Chuck Norris has to wear a seatbelt while using the toilet because of the recoil.
Rated 3.96/5 (26 Votes)