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Chuck Norris' crotch is considered a weapon of mass destruction.

Rated 3.5/5 (10 Votes)

Wilt Chamberlain has claimed to slept with thousands of women. That's a slow Tuesday for Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.85/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris can make the Honey Badger Care.

Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris can send a text message from either his BlackBerry or one of his DingleBerries.

Rated 3.68/5 (22 Votes)

When Smokey the bear says "only you can prevent forest fires" he was talking to Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.11/5 (63 Votes)

A average human uses 10% of their brain capacity. A genius uses 15%. Chuck Norris uses 101%.

Rated 3.42/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris can walk across the North/South Korean border.

Rated 3.83/5 (12 Votes)

Charlie Sheen is winning. Chuck Norris is dominating.

Rated 3.91/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can play Beethoven's Symphony #9 on the bongos.

Rated 3.8/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris once lost a fight. Then he woke up.

Rated 3.89/5 (28 Votes)

Chunk Norris land in dry pool with a splash.

Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't motor boat. He battleships.

Rated 4.08/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris can work out the square root of negatives.

Rated 3.91/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can eat a pineapple upsidedown cake right side up.

Rated 3.08/5 (13 Votes)

If Chuck Norris forged Obama's birth certificate, then Obama would actually be an American citizen.

Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)

Nobody's in the kitchen with Dinah. Dinah's in the bed with Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.2/5 (10 Votes)

Godzilla was actually Chuck Norris's lost pet.

Rated 3.82/5 (17 Votes)

Dogs put "Beware of Chuck Norris" signs on their houses.

Rated 3.84/5 (19 Votes)

Every night when Chuck Norris goes to bed he hears "Flawless Victory!".

Rated 3.86/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris keeps up his tan by sunbathing once a week on the dark side of the moon.

Rated 4.1/5 (10 Votes)
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