Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Big Foot is in hiding because he owes Chuck Norris money from a poker game.
Rated 3.43/5 (7 Votes)
Chuck Norris could win the Daytona 500 on a moped without making a single pit stop.
Rated 3/5 (8 Votes)
To Chuck Norris three lefts do not make a right. They make three lefts.
Rated 2.6/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris could win a sailboat race on a windless day by consectutively roundhouse kicking behind the sails.
Rated 3.46/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris can Achieve light speed while doing michael jacksons' moonwalk.
Rated 3.44/5 (16 Votes)
When Chuck Norris enters a rodeo the bull has to try and last 8 seconds.
Rated 4.07/5 (29 Votes)
Once Chuck Norris, 2 PAC, and Kimbo Slice were having a backyard BBQ. Kimbo kept taunting Chuck to punch him in the jaw. His beard was the only thing that saved his life. When 2 PAC tried to intervene, well.....no one really knows what happened.
Rated 2.5/5 (14 Votes)
Ron Jeremy learned his "one secret trick for a bigger penis" from Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.08/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't pull his weeds. He pushes them back down where they came from.
Rated 3.83/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris once smoked asbestos and snorted anthrax to win a 5$ bet.
Rated 3.29/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris won the Daytona 500 using Fred Flinstone's car. It only took him 250 laps.
Rated 3.24/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris barefoot skis by simply running and jumping into a lake and hydroplaning to the other side.
Rated 3.22/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris puts a straight jacket on when its cold.
Rated 2.44/5 (18 Votes)
The bald eagle is not extinct because it promised Chuck Norris that it would shave its head, and all of its defendants, if he allowed him to live.
Rated 2/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Noris is able to haggle with a Saturn car salesmen to lower the price.
Rated 2.91/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris has his own dating website.
Rated 2.53/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get lost. The Earth just reorients itself to his location.
Rated 4.06/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris punched a beaver once. It's now called the platypus.
Rated 3.94/5 (17 Votes)
People say if you go to the moon, you'll see foot prints of past astronuats. When Neil Amstrong went to the moon, he saw a foot print of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.54/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris's favorite bedtime story is the script from "Rambo, first blood".
Rated 3.44/5 (18 Votes)