Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris once married his imaginary girlfriend. They then had children. The results were complex.
Rated 2.53/5 (17 Votes)
Car manufacturers crash test their cars by launching them at Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.89/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris was sitting in a lawn chair, smoking a cigar & chugging a fifth of Goldschläger when he zoomed by Felix Baumgartner on the way down.
Rated 3.38/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt go to a casino for gambling, he goes for winning.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
When Chuck Norris laughs in the face of danger, its usally when he is doing dangers wife!
Rated 2/5 (11 Votes)
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do NOT pass Go, you do NOT collect $200; hell, you're lucky if you make it out alive!
Rated 2.54/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't die, he just visits God for a cup of immortality.
Rated 3.33/5 (15 Votes)
Canada didn't get sovereinty by asking for it. They have Chuck Norris negotiate with the British.
Rated 2.31/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris once ate a nuclear weapon... after 25 miniature explosions......he finally burped.
Rated 3.4/5 (15 Votes)
When Chuck Norris "cry's" hes just sweating from his last kill.
Rated 2.47/5 (15 Votes)
Yey, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil... because Chuck Norris walked through it first.
Rated 3.12/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so crazy he punched your momma jokes in the face.
Rated 2.06/5 (18 Votes)
Inside the warhead of a nuclear missile, there is a tiny little 0.1 oz can marked "whoop ass". it contains a milligram of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes to do the limbo with barbed wire.
Rated 3.65/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses a shotgun for a blow dryer.
Rated 3.93/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris can detect land mines with his balls. They're steel. And magnetic.
Rated 2.46/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris can squeeze a charcoal briquette between his butt cheeks and make a diamond.
Rated 3.58/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris can start a campfire with a 9V battery and the steel wool from his balls.
Rated 3.06/5 (31 Votes)
Athletes get Chuck Norris foot.
Rated 3.78/5 (32 Votes)
When Chuck Norris has a stroke he gives it to someone else.
Rated 2.74/5 (23 Votes)