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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.

Rated 3.4/5 (490 Votes)

Chuck Norris went to jurassic park and then one second later it was bunny island.

Rated 2.5/5 (8 Votes)

Chuck Norris can put out a fire by covering it with wood.

Rated 3.4/5 (5 Votes)

Chuck Norris can choke you with his name.

Rated 3.5/5 (4 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough, that prior to his birth, his mother had to Kevlar her vagina.

Rated 2.4/5 (5 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough, that his children were born with skull fractures.

Rated 3.5/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so tough, that Walker, Texas Ranger, was allowed to air.

Rated 2.6/5 (5 Votes)

Obama won, only because Chuck Norris is part Hispanic.

Rated 1.6/5 (5 Votes)

When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he returns them for a refund.

Rated 4.13/5 (131 Votes)

Chuck Norris once had a staring competition with his own reflection and won.

Rated 2.33/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris sleeps with two eyes open.

Rated 2.5/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesnt use tissue's to blow his nose, he uses a 1 inch sheet a of steel.

Rated 3.97/5 (30 Votes)

Chuck Norris never sleeps because he scared the sandman into the witness protection program.

Rated 2.25/5 (8 Votes)

You can't get blood from a turnip, but Chuck Norris gets blood from everything.

Rated 3.55/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris can cut a diamond with his chest hair.

Rated 3.56/5 (9 Votes)

Beckham spends his spare time trying to bend it like Norris.

Rated 3/5 (7 Votes)

Chuck Norris gargles with peanut butter.

Rated 3.67/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

Rated 2.83/5 (6 Votes)

Chuck Norris can rape you with a dirty look.

Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)

Charles Darwin's legendary text "The Origin of Species" originally had just two words in it: Chuck Norris. He was later asked to be more specific.

Rated 3.55/5 (11 Votes)
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