Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella, he slips in between the rain drops.
Rated 3/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris founded the show " a thousand ways to die".
Rated 3.7/5 (23 Votes)
Superman can leap over a building in a single bound, Chuck Norris can pick them up and walk right under them.
Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)
When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.
Rated 3.79/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris once single handedly killed 97 Afghan terrorists using his M-16 assault rifle. Then he flipped off the safety switch and shot 500 more of them.
Rated 3.97/5 (137 Votes)
When Chuck was a year old a very heavy metal object fell on top of him his parents went to invistigate they found him on his back lifting the metal up and down to build his chest muscles.
Rated 2.91/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
Rated 4.07/5 (94 Votes)
Chuck Norris owns Area 51. He also owns Areas 1 thru 50.
Rated 3.82/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris plays zombies
and the zombies run back through the barriers.
Rated 3.18/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris drinks lava
eats rock for breakfast
has some steel for dinner
some tin cans for tea
and washes it down with a 6 pack of acid.
Rated 2.96/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris bathes in quicksand that dosent have a bottom.
Rated 2.13/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not eat honey, instead he chews bees.
Rated 3.1/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris once circumcised a lion while it was feeding on a wildebeest.
Rated 2.8/5 (15 Votes)
The Most Interesting Man in the World thinks that Chuck Norris is the Most Interesting Man in the World.
Rated 3.5/5 (22 Votes)
In football, a yellow flag is thrown onto the field for committing a violation.
But when Chuck Norris plays football, he gives the ref a penalty.
Rated 3.3/5 (23 Votes)
Most people take steroids to get buff. Chuck Norris has to take Estrogen to keep rom getting any bigger.
Rated 4.03/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris keeps the Loch Ness Monster in his aquarium.
Rated 3.12/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris broke the sound barrier during a nature hike.
Rated 3.86/5 (35 Votes)
The Mayans predicted the day Chuck Norris loses his temper.
Rated 3.71/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris was banned from skipping rocks after the tsunami in 2008.
Rated 4.08/5 (145 Votes)