Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris didn't hit puberty, he roundhouse kicked it.
Rated 4/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris can dribble a football across a baseball field and score a 3 pointer.
Rated 3.8/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris got Manti Teo's girlfriend pregnant.
Rated 3.05/5 (20 Votes)
Excalibur was just a sword Chuck Norris used as a toothpick and left in a rock for safe-keeping.
Rated 4.09/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play Beethoven's 5th symphony with a rubber band.
Rated 4.03/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows the ultimate fate of the universe. For him it's not a theory, it's a decision he must make.
Rated 4.12/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris brought a knife to a gunfight. He is still waiting for an opponent.
Rated 3.52/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris got the sixth golden ticket.
Rated 3.23/5 (22 Votes)
The reason Joker is smiling is because Chuck Norris told him a yo' mama joke.
Rated 3.61/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't put his money in the bank. He puts it under his pillow, which happens to be a bank vault.
Rated 3.96/5 (23 Votes)
The rainbow is Chuck Norris's promise not to kick the whole world's ass like he did the last time he got mad.
Rated 3.45/5 (22 Votes)
Moses' beard was Chuck Norris' idea.
Rated 3.76/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris keeps bullets in his guns in case he gets hungry.
Rated 3.89/5 (28 Votes)
History records that Neil Armstrong was the first man to step on the moon. It was actually George T. Iverson, who was a bully that used to pick on Chuck Norris when he was a kid. Mr. Iverson "landed" there after 8-year-old Chuck's first roundhouse kick struck him on the ass.
Rated 3.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris tried to commit suicide once and was successful. Everything Chuck tries is successful.
Rated 3.2/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris trains for kickboxing with both feet tied behind his back.
Rated 3.36/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris throws the baby out with the bathwater.
Rated 1.8/5 (10 Votes)
When Chuck Norris tells you a knock-knock joke, do NOT ask who is there. Run.
Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris always counts his chickens before they hatch.
Rated 2.9/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris saw a movie that starred Chuck Norris. The real Chuck Norris asked some people in the theater, "Who is that guy? I could kick his ass!".
Rated 3/5 (14 Votes)