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Chuck Norris didn't hit puberty, he roundhouse kicked it.

Rated 4/5 (35 Votes)

Chuck Norris can dribble a football across a baseball field and score a 3 pointer.

Rated 3.8/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris got Manti Teo's girlfriend pregnant.

Rated 3.05/5 (20 Votes)

Excalibur was just a sword Chuck Norris used as a toothpick and left in a rock for safe-keeping.

Rated 4.06/5 (31 Votes)

Chuck Norris can play Beethoven's 5th symphony with a rubber band.

Rated 4.03/5 (29 Votes)

Chuck Norris knows the ultimate fate of the universe. For him it's not a theory, it's a decision he must make.

Rated 4.12/5 (42 Votes)

Chuck Norris brought a knife to a gunfight. He is still waiting for an opponent.

Rated 4.06/5 (36 Votes)

Chuck Norris got the sixth golden ticket.

Rated 3.23/5 (22 Votes)

The reason Joker is smiling is because Chuck Norris told him a yo' mama joke.

Rated 3.61/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't put his money in the bank. He puts it under his pillow, which happens to be a bank vault.

Rated 3.96/5 (23 Votes)

The rainbow is Chuck Norris's promise not to kick the whole world's ass like he did the last time he got mad.

Rated 3.48/5 (21 Votes)

Moses' beard was Chuck Norris' idea.

Rated 3.76/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris keeps bullets in his guns in case he gets hungry.

Rated 3.89/5 (28 Votes)

History records that Neil Armstrong was the first man to step on the moon. It was actually George T. Iverson, who was a bully that used to pick on Chuck Norris when he was a kid. Mr. Iverson "landed" there after 8-year-old Chuck's first roundhouse kick struck him on the ass.

Rated 3.7/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris tried to commit suicide once and was successful. Everything Chuck tries is successful.

Rated 3.2/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris trains for kickboxing with both feet tied behind his back.

Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)

Chuck Norris throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Rated 1.8/5 (10 Votes)

When Chuck Norris tells you a knock-knock joke, do NOT ask who is there. Run.

Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris always counts his chickens before they hatch.

Rated 3.11/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris saw a movie that starred Chuck Norris. The real Chuck Norris asked some people in the theater, "Who is that guy? I could kick his ass!".

Rated 3/5 (14 Votes)
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