Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Jimmy Hoffa was never found because Chuck Norris told him to disappear.
Rated 3.31/5 (39 Votes)
Gravity does not keep Chuck Norris down, he holds gravity up.
Rated 3.56/5 (52 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Rated 4.18/5 (4438 Votes)
Burger King can't handle Chuck Norris's way.
Rated 3.78/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris once hit a dead man and brought him back to life.
Rated 3.44/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, He threatens it to grow!
Rated 3.43/5 (42 Votes)
When Chuck Norris farts, the weather changes.
Rated 3.81/5 (146 Votes)
Chuck Norris didn't go to high school.
High school came to Chuk Norris.
Rated 2.24/5 (51 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the Fourth Wiseman. He gave Baby Jesus the gift of Beard. Jesus loved it so much the other Wisemen were jealous of his obvious gift favoritism.
They then used their combined influence to have Chuck Norris omitted from the Bible.
All three later died mysterious roundhouse-kick related deaths.
Rated 3.29/5 (41 Votes)
When Chuck Norris slaps a mosquito the blood goes back into the people
Rated 3.66/5 (53 Votes)
Chuck Norris breeds bearded babies.
Rated 2.91/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris was pretending to write down the number of a girl he wasn't
going to call when he accidently proved the continuum hypothesis.
Rated 3.47/5 (43 Votes)
You may think you're good at "gleteing" but it has been recorded that
while Chuck Norris was roundhouse kicking hisself through time that when he accidently geleted Noah had 2 build an ark.
Rated 1.72/5 (43 Votes)
72% of the Earth is covered in water, the rest is the victims that Chuck
Norris has killed.
Rated 2.79/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris really can taste a rainbow.
Rated 3.93/5 (54 Votes)
Every dividend in the stock market is falling, except the ones that Chuck
Rated 3.39/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows the secret recipe to the Big Mac.
Rated 3.66/5 (35 Votes)
God is Chuck Norris' best friend.
Rated 3.06/5 (47 Votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to the bar, he orders blood.
Rated 2.91/5 (45 Votes)
I'm voting for Chuck Norris in the next election.
Rated 3.62/5 (52 Votes)