Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Siri doesn't work on Chuck Norris' iphone because she's afraid to talk back to him.
Rated 3.65/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.
Rated 2.5/5 (14 Votes)
When Chuck Norris runs a race, he ties both legs behind his back, just to make it fair.
Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)
When Chuck Norris eats curry he shits out an indian.
Rated 4.05/5 (20 Votes)
Chucks Norris can get Chick-fil-A on Sundays.
Rated 3.1/5 (20 Votes)
On Mothers Day, Chuck Norris's mother gives Chuck Norris a gift.
Rated 3.75/5 (12 Votes)
Sasquatch once found a Chuck Norris footprint.
Rated 4.11/5 (19 Votes)
If you ask Chuck Norris for his autograph, he'll dip his boot in a bucket of ink and roundhouse kick you in your face.
Rated 3.94/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris cleans his toilet with a backhoe and a WeedEater.
Rated 3.3/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris won on the 'America's Got Talent' TV show when he roasted a whole moose on a Hibachi grill.
Rated 3.7/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris won the 'Dancing with the Stars' competition by Moonwalking on his butt cheeks.
Rated 3.92/5 (13 Votes)
The Hulk and Chuck Norris once arm wrestled, the loser had to paint themselves green.
Rated 3.71/5 (14 Votes)
"How would you like your steak?" asked the waiter. "Breathing." replied Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.07/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris once landed on the dark side if the Sun.
Rated 3.4/5 (15 Votes)
The fatalities you see in mortal kombat are actually real life accounts of Chuck Norris going ape shit in a traffic jam.
Rated 3.6/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris flew a paper airplane... to the moon.
Rated 3.89/5 (9 Votes)
Chuck Norris' first job was digging ditches. After 1 hour they payed him to retire. That job is now a historic landmark called the Grand Canyon.
Rated 4.05/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris is never early. Time just can't keep up with Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.85/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't kill you softly with his love. He kills you violently with his thumbs in your eye sockets he rips your head in half.
Rated 2.45/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes tornados. They give him an excuse to go rip the roofs off peoples houses and destroy towns.
Rated 2.4/5 (10 Votes)