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Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris can knit the softest sweater using electrical pylons.

Rated 3.24/5 (188 Votes)

Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.

Rated 3.89/5 (222 Votes)

When Chuck Norris snaps his fingers, Fonzie shows up.

Rated 3.52/5 (217 Votes)

Chuck Norris' hands are protected under the 2nd Amendment.

Rated 3.33/5 (218 Votes)

Dana White has never offered Chuck Norris a UFC contract out of concern for the well being of his fighters.

Rated 3.13/5 (208 Votes)

When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, Chuck Norris makes apple sauce.

Rated 3.35/5 (269 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't drive cars, he flies trains.

Rated 3.31/5 (294 Votes)

Chuck Norris can skip the copyright notices on his DVDs.

Rated 3.11/5 (330 Votes)

Chuck Norris got back together with Taylor Swift.

Rated 3.37/5 (54 Votes)

Using Chuck Norris in a war is a violation of human rights.

Rated 4.06/5 (189 Votes)

When Chuck Norris robs a store, the cops are standing at the door saying ''good luck with the money''.

Rated 3.09/5 (46 Votes)

Chuck Norris frisks TSA agents before he boards a plane.

Rated 3.22/5 (59 Votes)

Chuck Norris entered American Idol and won the X-Factor.

Rated 3.89/5 (197 Votes)

Chuck Norris can squeeze carbon out of diamond.

Rated 3.5/5 (54 Votes)

The shortest distance between two points is whatever route Chuck takes.

Rated 3.74/5 (184 Votes)

Chuck Norris can kick start a bicycle...

Rated 3.42/5 (364 Votes)

Chuck Norris beat "Through the fire and the flames" on Expert with a broken NES controller.

Rated 3.68/5 (151 Votes)

Chuck Norris is so hot, he breathes fire to cool off.

Rated 3.46/5 (50 Votes)

Chuck Norris can "shit fire and save matches"!

Rated 2.73/5 (44 Votes)

The deer and the antelope can only roam where Chuck Norris says they can.

Rated 2.83/5 (46 Votes)
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