Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can squeeze a turnip out of blood.
Rated 3.06/5 (35 Votes)
For Thanksgiving, Chuck Norris roasts his turkey by opening up a small portal in to hell.
Rated 3.63/5 (38 Votes)
"Crème de la crème" is a term directly related to Chuck Norris' groin.
Rated 3.15/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris can dial your phone number on the microwave.
Rated 3.96/5 (75 Votes)
Chuck Norris once felt fear. Then he roundhouse kicked the mirror.
Rated 3.39/5 (233 Votes)
Chuck Norris can build sandcastles under water
Rated 3.91/5 (65 Votes)
Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
Rated 4.03/5 (98 Votes)
Life insurance companies have Chuck Norris policies.
Rated 3.98/5 (54 Votes)
Chuck Norris recorded a 6 hour vine video and uploaded it in 6 seconds.
Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)
Gordon Ramsey was Chuck Norris' cook.
Rated 2.35/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris can swim in lava.
Rated 2.77/5 (13 Votes)
A blanket uses Chuck Norris to stay warm.
Rated 3.96/5 (26 Votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to heaven, he opens the gate on his own.
Rated 3.84/5 (19 Votes)
When the Zombie Apocalypse happens, the zonbies aren't running at you, they are all running away from Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.85/5 (13 Votes)
When Chuck Norris and the Pope meet up, the pope confesses to Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.5/5 (14 Votes)
The movie anaconda is actually based on Chuck Norris's first sexual experience.
Rated 2/5 (11 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses sulfuric acid as mouth wash.
Rated 3.5/5 (10 Votes)
Chuck Norris won an arm wrestling match with both hands tied behind his back.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
The Incredible Hulk is Green because he envies Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.94/5 (35 Votes)
Sigmund Freud was talking to Chuck Norris about his theories of psychology. Withoit thinking, Freud asked Chuck Norris if he was afraid of anything. Chuck Norris looked at him and said, "Excuse me???" Thus the term "Fruedian Slip" became a psychological term.
Rated 3.56/5 (16 Votes)