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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Rated 3.71/5 (69 Votes)

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' shoe.

Rated 3.55/5 (55 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't save the day, he saves the year.

Rated 3.55/5 (51 Votes)

Chuck Norris got his legs cut off and still managed to walk it off.

Rated 3.78/5 (74 Votes)

Doctor M.R Butts was scheduled to unveil an unlimited power source today but sadly his funeral will be at 1 today due to Chuck Norris not liking where he plugged the socket in.

Rated 3.52/5 (52 Votes)

Chuck Norris catches his flounder already fileted.

Rated 3.15/5 (40 Votes)

When Chuck Norris pees he clogs the toilet.

Rated 3.75/5 (48 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Rated 3.94/5 (129 Votes)

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

Rated 3.5/5 (38 Votes)

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Rated 3.33/5 (42 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Rated 3.82/5 (50 Votes)

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Rated 3.19/5 (42 Votes)

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Rated 3.91/5 (127 Votes)

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Rated 4.03/5 (108 Votes)

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Rated 3.28/5 (40 Votes)

Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

Rated 3.49/5 (45 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

Rated 3.57/5 (42 Votes)

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

Rated 4.08/5 (86 Votes)

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.59/5 (41 Votes)

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.

Rated 3.52/5 (48 Votes)
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