Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
Rated 3.71/5 (69 Votes)
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' shoe.
Rated 3.55/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't save the day, he saves the year.
Rated 3.55/5 (51 Votes)
Chuck Norris got his legs cut off and still managed to walk it off.
Rated 3.78/5 (74 Votes)
Doctor M.R Butts was scheduled to unveil an unlimited power source today but sadly his funeral will be at 1 today due to Chuck Norris not liking where he plugged the socket in.
Rated 3.52/5 (52 Votes)
Chuck Norris catches his flounder already fileted.
Rated 3.15/5 (40 Votes)
When Chuck Norris pees he clogs the toilet.
Rated 3.75/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Rated 3.94/5 (129 Votes)
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
Rated 3.5/5 (38 Votes)
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Rated 3.33/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Rated 3.82/5 (50 Votes)
Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Rated 3.19/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Rated 3.91/5 (127 Votes)
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.03/5 (108 Votes)
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Rated 3.28/5 (40 Votes)
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.
Rated 3.49/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
Rated 3.57/5 (42 Votes)
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Rated 4.08/5 (86 Votes)
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.59/5 (41 Votes)
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Rated 3.52/5 (48 Votes)