Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
Rated 3.67/5 (39 Votes)
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Rated 4.05/5 (42 Votes)
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Rated 3.82/5 (61 Votes)
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
Rated 3.53/5 (34 Votes)
Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness, and possibly foot sized bruises on the face.
Rated 3.92/5 (37 Votes)
In 1990, Chuck Norris founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America". If the organization's name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere.
Rated 3.16/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris IS the healthcare crisis.
Rated 3.14/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris is never late. That would imply that anything else was more
important than what Chuck Norris was doing.
Rated 3.82/5 (38 Votes)
When Chuck Norris crosses the road, no one asks why Chuck Norris crossed
Rated 3.29/5 (38 Votes)
Quantum physicists have proven that you cannot observe matter without altering it. When Chuck Norris observes matter, the matter is NOT altered by
the observation. The matter considers this the safest alternative.
Rated 3.65/5 (31 Votes)
Chuck Norris often prays to God. Chuck Norris believes in the power of
Rated 2/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris once took a piss in a wooded area of China. This area is
now known today as the Yellow River.
Rated 4.02/5 (41 Votes)
Steel wool is manufactured from Chuck Norris's beard.
Rated 3.86/5 (64 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat a fish in a staring contest.
Rated 3.38/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris can rip apart a phone book using just one hair on his beard.
Rated 3.13/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not drink alcohol because there is none strong enough.
Rated 3.68/5 (38 Votes)
The law of gravity applies to everything. Except Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.11/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris can bend a 12 inch thick block of diamond with one eye.
Rated 3.48/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN Do the Dew.
Rated 2.79/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris split the continents because he didn't want it to be so easy for him to rule the world.
Rated 3.79/5 (38 Votes)