Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
If Chuck Norris ran for president, everyone would win because no one would dare vote or even run against him.
Rated 2.68/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris was old enough to vote when he was born.
Rated 3.21/5 (38 Votes)
Voting never counts because Chuck Norris decides who wins. Always.
Rated 3.46/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasn't born, he decided to start living.
Rated 3.65/5 (49 Votes)
Chuck Norris could set every record, but he feels it would be to easy.
Rated 3.25/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you all day with out messing up his hair.
Rated 3.13/5 (31 Votes)
Chuck Norris can get 100% notes on Through the Fire and Flames on expert without looking at the TV.
Rated 3.4/5 (65 Votes)
If Chuck Norris and Mr. T fought, the world would explode.
Rated 2.91/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the first person to play Rocky, but his punches killed the other actors so the decided to use Sylvester Stallone instead.
Rated 3.54/5 (56 Votes)
The only sport Chuck Norris would score lower than you in is golf.
Rated 3.93/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need a mobile phone. He uses his shoe.
Rated 2.41/5 (39 Votes)
Chuck Norris said no more of these jokes about him...... or else
Rated 3.13/5 (40 Votes)
Hitler committed suicide because he heard Chuck Norris was sent to kill him.
Rated 3.57/5 (51 Votes)
Chuck Norris can control the heat of the sun.
Rated 3.2/5 (46 Votes)
Chuck Norris controls the earth's revolutions.
Rated 2.33/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris was actually the one who cured the blind man of his blindness, and served hundreds of people with a slice of bread, but he is so humble, he gave Jesus the props for it.
Rated 2.39/5 (46 Votes)
The reason nobody is aloud to go to area 51 is simply because Chuck Norris doesn't want any body in or around his house.
Rated 3.18/5 (39 Votes)
Chuck Norris is actually the 5 Element.
Rated 2.77/5 (39 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the real weapon of mass destruction.
Rated 3.38/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the reason scary movies have endings.
Rated 2.66/5 (29 Votes)