Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris is so strong he can bench press King Kong.
Rated 2.88/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris can breathe in and out at the same time.
Rated 3.94/5 (64 Votes)
Chuck Norris wouldn't have to run for president. He could simply walk.
Rated 4.12/5 (74 Votes)
You wanna know what happened to Tupac? Just ask Chuck Norris
Rated 2.79/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the missing link.
Rated 2.96/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill seven birds with one round house kick.
Rated 2.52/5 (21 Votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood he declines the syringe and requests a handgun and a bucket.
Rated 3.99/5 (118 Votes)
Humpty Dumpty once sat on a wall, but then Chuck Norris round house kicked him in the face.
Rated 3.57/5 (58 Votes)
Chuck Norris once pushed up against the "Tower of Pisa," now it is known
as "The leaning Tower of Pisa,"
Rated 3.88/5 (67 Votes)
For years scientists have trying to build Technology that's fast enough to
break the sound barrier, well now sound has been trying to build things
to go fast enough to break the Chuck Norris Barrier.
Rated 2.89/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris once decided to microwave a burrito so hot that he himself
could not eat it. Then he ate it.
Rated 2.94/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris tells road signs where to go.
Rated 3.89/5 (45 Votes)
When Chuck Norris got an F on his report card because he round house kicked his teacher in the face. He stared the F down until it turned into an A.
Rated 3.74/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets, bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.92/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris once fell into a toxic waste plant, and the toxic waste got super powers.
Rated 4.09/5 (69 Votes)
One time the police tried to arrest Chuck Norris for round house kicking somebody. The police were sentience to life in prison.
Rated 3.85/5 (55 Votes)
Chuck Norris WAS the big bang.
Rated 3.41/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris stepped in front of a speeding train. He was the only survivor.
Rated 4.05/5 (345 Votes)
The only thing scarier than Chuck Norris is the fact that nothing is scarier than Chuck Norris
Rated 3.93/5 (41 Votes)
Everyone pay $5 for there foot long. But Chuck Norris Charges $6 for his foot long.
Rated 3.26/5 (31 Votes)