Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris Can get 100% on Through the fire and flames on guitar hero
by strumming with his nose and hitting the fret buttons with his toes
Rated 2.97/5 (36 Votes)
On Christmas the reason the cookies and milk that you sat next to the fire
are gone isn't because Santa ate them, it's because Chuck Norris did.
Rated 3.22/5 (37 Votes)
When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money. When Chuck Norris comes to your house he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
Rated 4.09/5 (689 Votes)
When Chuck Norris watches the Ring the little girl in the well dies 7 days later
Rated 3.65/5 (48 Votes)
The Glass Elevater in Willy wonka can go up, down, sideways, Long ways ,
Short ways, triangular ways, Diagonal ways; but it cant go Chuck Norris
Rated 2.76/5 (37 Votes)
The Movie "Like Mike," about a kid who found Michal Jordan's and suddenly
he was amazing at basketball, well the only reason they could film that
movie was because those weren't Michal Jordan's shoes, they were Chuck
Rated 2.48/5 (33 Votes)
Some people eat a slice of pizza the crust first, Chuck Norris eats the slice first
Rated 1.98/5 (43 Votes)
Sometimes Bloody Mary's friend's dare her to spin around 3 times in a dark room and say Chuck Norris 3 times then look into a mirror. She has never done it.
Rated 3.86/5 (58 Votes)
The reason you don't hear the rooster in the morning any more is because it woke Chuck Norris up one time... enough said.
Rated 3.67/5 (36 Votes)
How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a lollipop?
0. He Just stares at it to get to the center.
Rated 3.03/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris can pick any lock with his pinky.
Rated 3.11/5 (28 Votes)
when God said let their be light Chuck Norris stepped in front of him and
said "say please"
Rated 2.94/5 (35 Votes)
When Chuck Norris' nipples go hard they don't cut glass they cut diamond
Rated 3.27/5 (44 Votes)
Whenever you feel a breeze its Chuck Norris' round house across the planet.
Rated 2.45/5 (40 Votes)
Chuck Norris has never apologized.
Rated 2.86/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris says Cyclops Winks Not Blinks.
Rated 2.61/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris has his own Gender.
Rated 3.72/5 (65 Votes)
Did you ever wonder what happened to Tupac? Chuck Norris
Rated 2.27/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes heavy metal, his bed is made of iron.
Rated 3.98/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Rated 4.21/5 (1070 Votes)