Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris is so cool he can drink boiling water and piss ice cubes.
Rated 3.93/5 (107 Votes)
God wanted to create the world in ten days but Chuck Norris only gave him seven
Rated 3.55/5 (42 Votes)
Chuck Norris annexed the state of Texas from Mexico
Rated 2.15/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris can divide by sin and cosine.
Rated 2.58/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris calls Spongebob Squarepants the talking cheese
Rated 2.37/5 (35 Votes)
The only reason Sonic can run fast is because he is wearing Chuck Norris shoes.
Rated 3.16/5 (37 Votes)
Sonic isn't running to somewhere, he is running away from Chuck Norris
Rated 3.08/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris once crossed the road...no one has ever questioned his motives.
Rated 4.11/5 (180 Votes)
I googled Chuck Norris and the world wide web died
Rated 3.76/5 (58 Votes)
There was finally a WMD in Iraq when Chuck Norris visited the troops.
Rated 3.32/5 (34 Votes)
If you try to name your baby Chuck Norris, your baby will explode.
Rated 3.72/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't smell fear. Fear smells Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.32/5 (41 Votes)
Chuck Norris announced that he will be on the cover of Madden 2010.
Rated 2.19/5 (31 Votes)
The reason people crap there pants when they die: Chuck Norris flashes before your eyes!
Rated 3.33/5 (36 Votes)
The "big bang" is where Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his punching bag.
Rated 2.96/5 (46 Votes)
A Chuck Norris round house kick is the #1 form of execution in prisons in 49 states. It would be 50 but Texas refused to accept it so Chuck Norris refused to accept Texas and round hose kicked it into Mexico.
Rated 3.15/5 (33 Votes)
Dumb blondes used to be smart until they got roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.07/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff AND the deputy.
Rated 3.82/5 (60 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN teach old dogs new tricks.
Rated 3.48/5 (33 Votes)
When people are in trouble, they call 911. When 911 is in trouble, they call Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.86/5 (58 Votes)