Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick you in the back of your face.
Rated 3.66/5 (47 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the 4th wise man. He gave Jesus the power of beard.
Rated 3.29/5 (28 Votes)
If Superman and the Flash raced to the end of the universe who would win? Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.24/5 (41 Votes)
Global warming exists because Chuck Norris doesn't like it cold.
Rated 3.82/5 (119 Votes)
Chuck Norris had seen chocolate rain.
Rated 2.94/5 (35 Votes)
Earth has gravity because Chuck Norris doesn't like flying.
Rated 3.31/5 (32 Votes)
Most ninjas want to grow up to be like Chuck Norris. Instead Chuck Norris kills them.
Rated 2.03/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the core of the earth.
Rated 2.21/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris tans on the surface of the sun.
Rated 3.32/5 (31 Votes)
The earth does not move around the sun. Chuck Norris moves the sun around the earth.
Rated 2.32/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris can gargle Peanut Butter.
Rated 3.88/5 (69 Votes)
Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.
Rated 3.92/5 (39 Votes)
They once invented a Chuck Norris brand of toilet paper. It was discontinued shortly after for not taking shit from anyone.
Rated 3.92/5 (51 Votes)
You are what you eat. Chuck Norris eats steel.
Rated 3.86/5 (43 Votes)
Chuck Norris once got an erection while laying face down. He struck oil.
Rated 3.99/5 (67 Votes)
Chuck Norris really fought the battle of 300, THIS IS NORRIS!
Rated 3.39/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris cures his headaches with cyanide.
Rated 3.53/5 (45 Votes)
Jesus can make wine from his blood, but Chuck Norris can make beer from his spit.
Rated 3.68/5 (40 Votes)
They tried carving Chuck Norris' face onto Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for Chuck's beard!
Rated 3.79/5 (38 Votes)
Ever wondered what happened to the Mayans? Two words: Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.75/5 (53 Votes)