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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick you in the back of your face.

Rated 3.66/5 (47 Votes)

Chuck Norris was the 4th wise man. He gave Jesus the power of beard.

Rated 3.29/5 (28 Votes)

If Superman and the Flash raced to the end of the universe who would win? Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.24/5 (41 Votes)

Global warming exists because Chuck Norris doesn't like it cold.

Rated 3.82/5 (119 Votes)

Chuck Norris had seen chocolate rain.

Rated 2.94/5 (35 Votes)

Earth has gravity because Chuck Norris doesn't like flying.

Rated 3.31/5 (32 Votes)

Most ninjas want to grow up to be like Chuck Norris. Instead Chuck Norris kills them.

Rated 2.03/5 (35 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the core of the earth.

Rated 2.21/5 (28 Votes)

Chuck Norris tans on the surface of the sun.

Rated 3.32/5 (31 Votes)

The earth does not move around the sun. Chuck Norris moves the sun around the earth.

Rated 2.32/5 (34 Votes)

Chuck Norris can gargle Peanut Butter.

Rated 3.88/5 (69 Votes)

Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.

Rated 3.92/5 (39 Votes)

They once invented a Chuck Norris brand of toilet paper. It was discontinued shortly after for not taking shit from anyone.

Rated 3.92/5 (51 Votes)

You are what you eat. Chuck Norris eats steel.

Rated 3.86/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris once got an erection while laying face down. He struck oil.

Rated 3.99/5 (67 Votes)

Chuck Norris really fought the battle of 300, THIS IS NORRIS!

Rated 3.39/5 (38 Votes)

Chuck Norris cures his headaches with cyanide.

Rated 3.53/5 (45 Votes)

Jesus can make wine from his blood, but Chuck Norris can make beer from his spit.

Rated 3.68/5 (40 Votes)

They tried carving Chuck Norris' face onto Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for Chuck's beard!

Rated 3.79/5 (38 Votes)

Ever wondered what happened to the Mayans? Two words: Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.75/5 (53 Votes)
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