Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Rated 3.57/5 (127 Votes)
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Rated 4.06/5 (419 Votes)
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
Rated 3.43/5 (157 Votes)
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Rated 2.75/5 (171 Votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Rated 4.05/5 (605 Votes)
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Rated 4.04/5 (293 Votes)
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Rated 4/5 (250 Votes)
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Rated 2.64/5 (178 Votes)
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Rated 3.41/5 (158 Votes)
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Rated 4.06/5 (270 Votes)
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Rated 3.45/5 (146 Votes)
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Rated 3.96/5 (190 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
Rated 3.78/5 (186 Votes)
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Rated 4.11/5 (2211 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Rated 4.19/5 (6267 Votes)
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Rated 4.16/5 (3166 Votes)
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Rated 4.18/5 (1819 Votes)
Chuck can divide by zero.
Rated 4.12/5 (1185 Votes)
After drinking all night Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up he throws down.
Rated 3.91/5 (173 Votes)
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Rated 2.8/5 (150 Votes)