Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
The law of Conservation of matter is wrong. Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick can destroy matter without altering it.
Rated 3.14/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris is a lover not a fighter but don't get fooled he is also a fighter.
Rated 3.31/5 (42 Votes)
Laugh at the dam joke or Chuck Norris will round house kick you until you do!
Rated 2.23/5 (48 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses dry ice in all of his drinks.
Rated 4.02/5 (59 Votes)
When Chuck Norris brushes his teeth he uses Icey-Hot, and gasoline for
Rated 3.69/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill you with air.
Rated 3.56/5 (50 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he go tired of being the only human to be able to fly.
Rated 3.45/5 (31 Votes)
Don't look in Chuck Norris' eyes or you'll turn to stone.
Rated 2.8/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't download music. He demands it.
Rated 2.97/5 (29 Votes)
Gas prices went up because Chuck Norris was at the bottom.
Rated 2.5/5 (38 Votes)
When Chuck Norris walks the world revolves.
Rated 3.14/5 (36 Votes)
They say "the big bang" was a product of science. I say it's just a product of Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.45/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so pure you can wipe your butt with his crap.
Rated 3.27/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris tells the GPS where to go.
Rated 3.9/5 (49 Votes)
If you sacrifice 87 virgins to Chuck Norris, he will grant you one wish.
Rated 3.18/5 (44 Votes)
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Rated 4.02/5 (54 Votes)
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
Rated 3.36/5 (44 Votes)
Michael Phelps only won so many swimming medals because Chuck Norris was right behind him the whole way.
Rated 3.03/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Oddesey.
Rated 3.24/5 (29 Votes)
The reason why Link can never kill Ganandorf is because Ganon is actually Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.86/5 (29 Votes)