Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Rated 3.97/5 (123 Votes)
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.05/5 (249 Votes)
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Rated 4.12/5 (278 Votes)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Rated 4.06/5 (157 Votes)
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Rated 3.86/5 (161 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Rated 4.1/5 (168 Votes)
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
Rated 3.97/5 (147 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Rated 4.1/5 (1714 Votes)
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Rated 3.53/5 (136 Votes)
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Rated 3.87/5 (148 Votes)
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Rated 3.77/5 (134 Votes)
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
Rated 3.13/5 (144 Votes)
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Rated 3.92/5 (241 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Rated 3.47/5 (132 Votes)
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Rated 4.11/5 (187 Votes)
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Rated 3.67/5 (139 Votes)
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Rated 3.43/5 (115 Votes)
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Rated 2.76/5 (143 Votes)
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Rated 3.04/5 (110 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.69/5 (157 Votes)