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Chuck Norris does'nt get music from an ipod, an ipod gets music from Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.6/5 (30 Votes)

When you ask who drank your soda don't blame Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.32/5 (28 Votes)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chuck Norris was chasing him.

Rated 3.13/5 (32 Votes)

Chuck Norris changes his clock twice a year. Hence: Daylight Savings.

Rated 2.17/5 (24 Votes)

North Korea is being harassed by the U.N., not because they have nuclear weapons, but because Chuck Norris has dual citizenship.

Rated 2.2/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris made Mr. Miagi tar his driveway, clean his gutters and get his dry cleaning.

Rated 3.12/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris told Bob Barker to come on down....and then proceeded to roundhouse kick him into the plinko board.

Rated 2.91/5 (23 Votes)

Chuck Norris is like santa claus ( he sees you when your sleeping and he knows when your awake).

Rated 3.36/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris ordered a Mcflurry from KFC and he got it.

Rated 3.28/5 (32 Votes)

Chuck Norris can walk backwards. Forewards.

Rated 3.53/5 (34 Votes)

Chuck Norris can't press on spam links on his computer. The spam people are too scared to spam him in great fear of death.

Rated 2.47/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris can count all of the stars in the sky. In fact, he does it three times a night.

Rated 2.96/5 (27 Votes)

Flowers only smell nice becuase Chuck Norris says they do.

Rated 3.04/5 (27 Votes)

Chuck Norris invented the word invention.

Rated 2.52/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris hit a moose when he was driving. It came down in Africa.

Rated 3/5 (29 Votes)

Chuck Norris never gets bored. He snaps it in half before it gets to him.

Rated 2.86/5 (21 Votes)

Chuck Norris beat the whole L.A Lakers basketball team without a basketball.

Rated 2.85/5 (26 Votes)

No, Chuck Norris' phone isn't vibrating, it's shivering in terror.

Rated 3.76/5 (45 Votes)

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

Rated 3/5 (26 Votes)

When Chuck Norris pees he can weld titanium.

Rated 2.76/5 (25 Votes)
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