Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris does'nt get music from an ipod, an ipod gets music from Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.6/5 (30 Votes)
When you ask who drank your soda don't blame Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.32/5 (28 Votes)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Chuck Norris was chasing him.
Rated 3.13/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris changes his clock twice a year. Hence: Daylight Savings.
Rated 2.17/5 (24 Votes)
North Korea is being harassed by the U.N., not because they have
nuclear weapons, but because Chuck Norris has dual citizenship.
Rated 2.2/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris made Mr. Miagi tar his driveway, clean his gutters and get his dry cleaning.
Rated 3.12/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris told Bob Barker to come on down....and then proceeded to roundhouse kick him into the plinko board.
Rated 2.91/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris is like santa claus ( he sees you when your sleeping and he knows when your awake).
Rated 3.36/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris ordered a Mcflurry from KFC and he got it.
Rated 3.28/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris can walk backwards. Forewards.
Rated 3.57/5 (35 Votes)
Chuck Norris can't press on spam links on his computer. The spam people are too scared to spam him in great fear of death.
Rated 2.47/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can count all of the stars in the sky. In fact, he does it three times a night.
Rated 2.96/5 (27 Votes)
Flowers only smell nice becuase Chuck Norris says they do.
Rated 3.04/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented the word invention.
Rated 2.39/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris hit a moose when he was driving. It came down in Africa.
Rated 2.97/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris never gets bored. He snaps it in half before it gets to him.
Rated 2.86/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris beat the whole L.A Lakers basketball team without a
Rated 2.85/5 (26 Votes)
No, Chuck Norris' phone isn't vibrating, it's shivering in terror.
Rated 3.78/5 (46 Votes)
Rules of fighting:
1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Rated 3.07/5 (27 Votes)
When Chuck Norris pees he can weld titanium.
Rated 2.69/5 (26 Votes)