Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
Rated 3.41/5 (112 Votes)
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Rated 3.69/5 (164 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Rated 4.07/5 (420 Votes)
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Rated 3.29/5 (119 Votes)
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Rated 4.12/5 (737 Votes)
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Rated 3.64/5 (160 Votes)
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.04/5 (94 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Rated 2.94/5 (125 Votes)
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Rated 3.87/5 (166 Votes)
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Rated 4.03/5 (155 Votes)
Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Rated 3.96/5 (139 Votes)
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Rated 4.16/5 (3696 Votes)
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Rated 4.16/5 (3449 Votes)
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
Rated 4.17/5 (4257 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Rated 4.19/5 (3078 Votes)
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Rated 4.16/5 (3011 Votes)
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Rated 4.13/5 (2855 Votes)
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Rated 4.13/5 (3396 Votes)
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Rated 4.13/5 (1982 Votes)
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.18/5 (2928 Votes)