Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
There's a reason that Chuck Norris's wife doesn't sleep with him. It's because she's scared to get roundhouse kicked awake.
Rated 2.08/5 (25 Votes)
Little kids sit on Santa's lap...Santa sits on Chuck Norris' lap.
Rated 3.07/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt need the total gym, the total gym needs Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.07/5 (29 Votes)
Ever wonder why some buses fronts are flat? That's because they tried to run over Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.39/5 (28 Votes)
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you so hard you can become 4-D.
Rated 2.58/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris can climb a tree with his eyes.
Rated 3/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris can crawl faster than a sports car going 300MPH+.
Rated 2.21/5 (29 Votes)
Chuch Norris doesn't play football. He play's ass-kicking ball.
Rated 2.38/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris can make a boomarang go strait.
Rated 3.19/5 (32 Votes)
Newtons law of gravity doesnt exist (states what goes up must come down), Chuck Norris decides what goes and comes down.
Rated 2.5/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris can sqeeze blood out of a turnip.
Rated 2.57/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris can climb Mount Everest with his mustache.
Rated 3.7/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris can chew on a quarter and spit out five nickels.
Rated 3.41/5 (39 Votes)
Jesus turned water into wine; Chuck Norris turns wine into grapes.
Rated 3.28/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris can win a game of Foosball with his hands' tied behind his back.
Rated 2.53/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris skips water on dry land.
Rated 2.52/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris can hold three tommy guns at once. One in one hand. Another in the other hand. And another in the third hand.
Rated 3/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris made the color red. From the blood of humans.
Rated 2.21/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows the color purple is green.
Rated 2/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris is good at math. Me + You = Your funeral.
Rated 3.25/5 (32 Votes)