Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Guns kill people Chuck Norris kills guns.
Rated 3.46/5 (26 Votes)
Silly rabbit tricks are for Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.63/5 (16 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never spank Chuck Norris!
Rated 3.88/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris' farts don't stink.
Rated 2.42/5 (19 Votes)
When Chuck Norris rides roller coaster, the roller coaster screams.
Rated 4.05/5 (38 Votes)
Everyone who thinks a cow jumping over a moon is a fairy tale has never seen Chuck Norris roundhouse kick a cow.
Rated 4.04/5 (48 Votes)
The only thing we have to fear is not fear itself. It's actually a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Rated 3.57/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses a tanning bed to cool down.
Rated 3.75/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris can round mansion kick you.
Rated 3.75/5 (28 Votes)
The moon has craters because it kept pissing off Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.5/5 (20 Votes)
Newtons law is wrong, there is no reaction equal to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Rated 3.91/5 (45 Votes)
The secret to ultimate power is on Chuck Norris's nut sack.
Rated 3.48/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris can kill you by staring at you until you die.
Rated 3.56/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't go to the bathroom, the bathroom comes to him.
Rated 3.47/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris could never be a corrections officer because Chuck Norris takes no prisoners.
Rated 3.83/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris never drops the soap, the soap is trying to run away.
Rated 3.36/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris once broke open a piece of candy and a pinata came out.
Rated 4.04/5 (47 Votes)
In text adventure games, you have to be specific when you type in a command. When Chuck Norris plays a text adventure game, whatever he says goes.
Rated 3.68/5 (25 Votes)
People turn emo because they don't want to deal with Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.6/5 (20 Votes)
Batman has a Chuck Norris blanket.
Rated 3.79/5 (28 Votes)