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Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes

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Chuck Norris could rip yellowpages.com in half.

Rated 3.52/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris’ cell phone vibrates simply because it’s afraid of him.

Rated 3.31/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris may have heartburn… but heartburn DOESN’T HAVE Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.26/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris never has to clean his computer monitor. The fingerprints and dirt move to wherever he’s not looking.

Rated 3.71/5 (21 Votes)

The movie the hulk was based on Chuck Norris childhood.

Rated 4.04/5 (53 Votes)

McGruff took a bite outta crime, Chuck Norris took a bite outta McGruff.

Rated 3.53/5 (30 Votes)

Breeze does not blow, the air simply moves out of Chuck Norris's way.

Rated 3.71/5 (38 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He MAKES dead people!

Rated 3.33/5 (18 Votes)

When Chuck Norris walks into a church confessional, the priest starts confessing.

Rated 3.84/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris can win a million and 1 DOLLARS on who wants to be a millionaire.

Rated 3.52/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris was supposed to be the final boss in Mortal Kombat, but when he fought his opponents his roundhouse kick fatality caused crashes to Playstation and Arcade consoles across the globe. So that's why they replaced him with Shao Khan.

Rated 3.88/5 (32 Votes)

If some weird time paradox happened and Chuck Norris fought himself, Chuck Norris would win. PERIOD.

Rated 3.77/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris can blow sh*t up with his mind.

Rated 2.19/5 (32 Votes)

Chuck Norris can do nothing.

Rated 2.07/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris' I.Q. IS Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.13/5 (23 Votes)

Chuck Norris wouldn't do anything for a Klondike Bar.

Rated 3.37/5 (27 Votes)

When Chuck Norris walks of a cliff he stays right there hoovering, because no one pushes Chuck Norris. Not even gravity.

Rated 3.5/5 (18 Votes)

The closest Chuck Norris has ever gotten to death is when he falls asleep.

Rated 2.35/5 (20 Votes)

Chuck Norris can erase Permenant Marker with his pencil's eraser.

Rated 3.55/5 (20 Votes)

Hornets die when they sting sombody, bees also die when they think about stinging Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.65/5 (17 Votes)
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