Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
If you have a near-death experience while you are in the process of committing a crime, and you see a bright light, what you are really seeing are the whites of Chuck Norris's eyes.
Rated 3.74/5 (19 Votes)
You are so weak and slow compared to Chuck Norris, that if you try to punch him in the face, he has already forgotten about it.
Rated 2.6/5 (15 Votes)
You are so unimportant to Chuck Norris that he has already forgotten when he will kill you.
Rated 2.79/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris is not aging. He's evolving.
Rated 4.07/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris disguises himself when he is in public by openly carrying a gun. Everyone knows that the real Chuck Norris does not need a gun.
Rated 3.88/5 (26 Votes)
It's not that Chuck Norris is a violent person - it's just that there really are that many people who deserve to die.
Rated 3.57/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris hates violence. That's why he enjoys killing violent people.
Rated 3.75/5 (16 Votes)
If you are thinking about committing a crime, consider this: there is a one in five chance that Chuck Norris is already there waiting for you.
Rated 3.83/5 (24 Votes)
If you are thinking of committing a crime, consider this: the instant you commit it, you are on Chuck Norris's "to do" list.
Rated 3.12/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris can get inside your head. And your ribcage.
Rated 4.09/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris cannot turn water into blood, but he can turn water bloody.
Rated 3.7/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris can beat 'em AND join 'em.
Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)
In chess, Chuck Norris always checkmates with black on the first move.
Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris wears asbestos underwear because he sharts napalm.
Rated 2.89/5 (19 Votes)
If he wanted to Chuck Norris could hold his breath til death.
Rated 3.67/5 (15 Votes)
Britney spears didnt shave her head she saw Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.19/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris Is.....
Rated 2.02/5 (41 Votes)
Chuck Norris can outsmart a caculater.
Rated 3.64/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris can outrap 2pac.
Rated 3.15/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris sold one dollar for 5 dollars.
Rated 3.48/5 (27 Votes)