Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
Rated 4.03/5 (352 Votes)
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Rated 4.18/5 (3825 Votes)
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Rated 4.17/5 (2576 Votes)
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.14/5 (2790 Votes)
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
Rated 4.18/5 (3219 Votes)
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
Rated 4.1/5 (153 Votes)
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Rated 4.14/5 (3928 Votes)
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Rated 2.78/5 (160 Votes)
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Rated 4.12/5 (1553 Votes)
Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.
Rated 3.21/5 (155 Votes)
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.09/5 (1468 Votes)
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Rated 4.18/5 (3793 Votes)
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
Rated 4.21/5 (3418 Votes)
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.93/5 (158 Votes)
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Rated 4.13/5 (2334 Votes)
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano
Rated 4.11/5 (182 Votes)
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
Rated 4.18/5 (2413 Votes)
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Rated 4.17/5 (3761 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets out of the way.
Rated 3.97/5 (117 Votes)
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
Rated 4.12/5 (242 Votes)