Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck doens't stare at the sun because he wil go blnd, he does it so it won't blow up.
Rated 3.38/5 (24 Votes)
If you play a game with Chuck Norris, you lose. period.
Rated 3.74/5 (38 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to music, music lestens to Chuck Norris.
Rated 1.94/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses dishwasher tablets from mouthwash...
Rated 2.53/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris will take Obamas place with a bribe of his fist.
Rated 2.56/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris is awesome at golf. He made a hole in zero.
Rated 3.68/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris never lies because even when he does, it automatically becomes the truth!
Rated 3.96/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris has broken the land speed record riding a bike with no chain and a flat tire.
Rated 4.05/5 (42 Votes)
Every year, Chuck Norris selects a lucky child to get thrown into the sun.
Rated 3.42/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris can draw the infinite circle.
Rated 3.22/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats email spam for breakfast.
Rated 3.07/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris has only won one fight in his life. After that no one has ever dared to fight him.
Rated 2.88/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris will let you off for writing a joke as long as he's in a good mood. Chuck Norris is never in a good mo !%$#%$#^%$^%$^&$^% ugghhhhh...
Rated 2.27/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't help people, he just doesn't kill them that day.
Rated 3.95/5 (21 Votes)
Most people swim with dolphins, Chuck Norris swims with sharks.
Rated 3.21/5 (29 Votes)
Champions eat wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats champions for breakfast.
Rated 4.08/5 (249 Votes)
Aliens do exist but they are waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Rated 3.69/5 (16 Votes)
Bruce Lee made the mistake of calling Chuck Norris a wimp this is how he realy died.
Rated 3.12/5 (17 Votes)
Few people know that Chick Norris was the first person who was asked to play King Leonidas. After asking the question the director realized that the name and whole plot of the movie would have to be changed from 300 to 1 and the fact that Chuck Norris wouldnt even pretend to die. Following this thought he was killed by a roundhouse kick to the face. The only 299 people behind Chuck Norris are the ones who hes killed.
Rated 3.09/5 (22 Votes)
Only Chuck Norris knows the muffin man.
Rated 3.75/5 (24 Votes)