Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Ain't is a word in Chuck Norris' dictionary.
Rated 3.82/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris could win the Indy 500 on a big wheel.
Rated 4.09/5 (56 Votes)
Why is it called Eureka 7? What happened to Eurekas 1-6? Chuck Norris killed them all.
Rated 2.15/5 (13 Votes)
The chicken came first, but it was so scared of Chuck Norris it went back in the egg.
Rated 3.56/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris eats corn and poops out corn bread.
Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not use Google. He simply turns on his computer, and the World Wide Web automatically loads the page he wishes to view.
Rated 3.09/5 (22 Votes)
You know how sometimes hard drives and servers crash? It's really just Chuck Norris practicing his roundhouse kicks while his computer is online.
Rated 2.92/5 (12 Votes)
There were once more than six basic colors, but then Chuck Norris kicked all the other one's asses.
Rated 2.38/5 (16 Votes)
Many people believe that Bic lighters light because of flint and butane gas. In fact, lighters only light out of fear that Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick them if they don't.
Rated 2.85/5 (13 Votes)
Skyscrapers were not built by man, but by Chuck Norris stomping the ground in China.
Rated 2.56/5 (16 Votes)
George Washington didn't really cut down the cherry tree. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it and made George take the blame.
Rated 2.9/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris once blinked. That's why we have wind.
Rated 3.64/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need glasses anymore. He kicked his eye doctor's ass until he could see 20-20.
Rated 4.07/5 (14 Votes)
Planets don't have orbits. Chuck Norris chases them around in circles.
Rated 3.7/5 (23 Votes)
There has never been a supernova. Only Chuck Norris looking at stars for too long.
Rated 3.57/5 (14 Votes)
The sky is blue because Chuck Norris allows it to be that color.
Rated 2.6/5 (15 Votes)
The only reason people ever have parties is because they're glad that Chuck Norris isn't kicking their asses.
Rated 3.33/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik's Cube with one karate chop.
Rated 4/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris never takes showers; filth is too afraid to stick to him.
Rated 3.86/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need pain pills; pain pills need Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.47/5 (17 Votes)