Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
After much debate, president Truman used the atomic bomb on Hiroshima in WWII rather than sending Chuck Norris in. It was the 'humane' thing to do!
Rated 3.86/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris once rode a bull through a china shop. The only thing that broke was the bull.
Rated 3.92/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN drive fifty five.
Rated 2.54/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris dosent get hit by cars, cars get hit by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.39/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't "keep it real." Reality keeps itself Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.6/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris first words were, "I'm going to roundhouse kick you in the face."
Rated 2.88/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't shop at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart shops at Chuck Norris.
Rated 1.57/5 (23 Votes)
Three simple rules of survival:
1. Donít take the name of Chuck in vain
2. When in the presence of Chuck, avert your eyes, lest you recieve a roundhouse kick to the face
3. When camping, bring toilet paper.
Rated 2.21/5 (19 Votes)
After eating Rice Krispies cereal, Chuck Norris craps out firecrackers.
Rated 2.5/5 (14 Votes)
The last person who made eye contact with Chuck Norris was Stevie Wonder.
Rated 3.82/5 (22 Votes)
The reason Chihuaha's look scared at all times is because they live in the same world Chuck Norris lives.
Rated 2.89/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris is more explosive than a missle.
Rated 1.93/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris drew a straight line and manged to make it a closed figure.
Rated 3.5/5 (18 Votes)
The day Chuck Norris goes to hell is the day hell freeze's over.
Rated 3.33/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need a paint brush to paint. All he needs to do is wipe his hand on the wall.
Rated 1.92/5 (13 Votes)
They say tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Rated 3/5 (23 Votes)
Round here we use Chuck Norris toliet paper. It's rough, tough, and takes crap from no one.
Rated 3.53/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris' beard is the only thing stopping his chin from kicking some ass.
Rated 3.75/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the only human to defeat Forrest Gump in a game of ping pong.
Rated 3.56/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris is never the weakest link. It's whoever he wants to roundhouse kick next.
Rated 3.23/5 (13 Votes)