Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris has found a needle in every haystack.
Rated 4.12/5 (33 Votes)
There is no such thing as fearless. Everyone fears Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.09/5 (22 Votes)
Despite the song in aristocats Chuck Norris DOES NOT want to be a cat.
Rated 3.35/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris could speak before he was born.
Rated 3.67/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris came before the chicken AND the egg.
Rated 4.06/5 (33 Votes)
When Chuck Norris looks at you, you look at your grave.
Rated 3.88/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris's round house kicks don't kill you, they completely wipe your existence from the space time continuum.
Rated 3.94/5 (16 Votes)
Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
Rated 3.81/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesnt pick up hookers they pick Chuck Norris up.
Rated 2.71/5 (14 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was born he thought the doctor was a terrorists and strangled him with his umbilical cord.
Rated 3.89/5 (36 Votes)
The world doesn't revolve around the sun, it revolves around
Rated 3.27/5 (26 Votes)
Chuck Norris uses tear gas for air freshener.
Rated 4.03/5 (58 Votes)
Chuck Norris can lay eggs.
Rated 1.55/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris once walked into a sauna. The sauna couldn't take the heat.
Rated 4.12/5 (52 Votes)
Cats cough up hair balls. Chuck Norris coughs up cats.
Rated 3.62/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
Rated 2.83/5 (24 Votes)
When Chuck Norris plays Rock Paper scissor shoot. His rock bashes through the paper, his scissors will cut your rock and his paper will give your scissors a paper cut.
Rated 4.09/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris fills his car by pissing into the gas tank.
Rated 3.41/5 (22 Votes)
Outlets fear the day Chuck Norris sticks his finger into them.
Rated 3.36/5 (14 Votes)
You're not on the computer reading these jokes, or even your phone. You're on Chuck Norris.
Rated 1.67/5 (18 Votes)