Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.
Rated 4.02/5 (167 Votes)
When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."
Rated 3.99/5 (225 Votes)
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.
Rated 3.94/5 (217 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Rated 4.08/5 (952 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Rated 4.19/5 (3495 Votes)
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Rated 4.1/5 (1100 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Rated 4.16/5 (4280 Votes)
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.
Rated 4.01/5 (315 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Rated 4.08/5 (244 Votes)
Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
Rated 4.13/5 (2130 Votes)
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.
Rated 4.06/5 (134 Votes)
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon
Rated 4.09/5 (2624 Votes)
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Rated 4.14/5 (3073 Votes)
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Rated 4.04/5 (228 Votes)
Chuck Norris. Enough said.
Rated 3.65/5 (209 Votes)
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to wonder about his drinking habits.
Rated 4.02/5 (128 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not shoot 20 rounds, he shoots one round 20 times.
Rated 3.91/5 (110 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle.
Rated 4.15/5 (2852 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows UR MOM.
Rated 1.83/5 (244 Votes)
Einstein revised his theory of relativity to read: Energy equals mass times the speed of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.58/5 (69 Votes)