Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris can do a sex change operation with a round house kick to the balls.
Rated 3.2/5 (20 Votes)
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris wrong. Once.
Rated 4.09/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a raptor in a fight. We now know it as a chicken.
Rated 3.38/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't say sorry, sorry says Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.85/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris CAN dig half a hole.
Rated 3.13/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can bite his own ear.
Rated 2.57/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris always has been, and always will be exactly 69 years old.
Rated 2.86/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris can continuously dribble a football.
Rated 3.5/5 (14 Votes)
Did you know that the big bang didnt create Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris created the big bang!
Rated 3.13/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with Now-N-Laters.
Rated 2.31/5 (13 Votes)
When Chuck Norris dumped Beyonce, everything he owned didn't fit in a box to the left, Chuck Norris owns everything.
Rated 3.08/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution. Chuck Norris IS evolution.
Rated 3.82/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with his pee.
Rated 3.99/5 (79 Votes)
Chuck Norris can liquify a piece of steel just by squeezing it.
Rated 2.38/5 (13 Votes)
Fire discovered Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.33/5 (15 Votes)
When Chuck Norris was being born. He gave is mom a C-Section so he could get the hell out of there.
Rated 3.09/5 (11 Votes)
In the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, the three bears did not take a walk to wait for their porridge to cool down. In fact, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the crap out of them until they left, and only returned once it was safe to do so.
Rated 2.05/5 (19 Votes)
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...it is also better to have never loved at all than to have been round-house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.87/5 (15 Votes)
Strangely, when ever i have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has nothing, half a second later Chuck Norris has 5 dollars and i have a severe wound on both sides of my face.
Rated 3.55/5 (20 Votes)
Following the fiascos with the other models, Skynet decided to create a new type of Terminator. This model, named the T-8000, was more dangerous than all the other models combined. In fact, one has already been sent back in time. He goes by the name of Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.53/5 (15 Votes)