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Chuck Norris once forced a word to rhyme with "orange.".

Rated 4.07/5 (123 Votes)

Tony Montana's little friend was his gun. Chuck Norris's little friend is his right foot. It's no contest as to which is better.

Rated 3.5/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris sees in all spectrums, especially ultra-violent light.

Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris considers "badass" an insult to his ability.

Rated 2.31/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris once found a hay in a needlestack.

Rated 4/5 (33 Votes)

Chuck Norris once bet someone to shoot an apple off his head with a shotgun. He was unharmed.

Rated 3.79/5 (14 Votes)

Michael Phelps was swimming away from Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)

Chuck Norris once won a haiku contest. He spoke 3 syllables.

Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris once won $10,000,000 in a Vegas blackjack tournament using half of a Pokemon card.

Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the reason Rambo has scars.

Rated 4/5 (43 Votes)

Chuck Norris is an incredible lawyer. He's won every case simply because you DON'T argue with Chuck Norris.

Rated 3.93/5 (15 Votes)

One time when out in the Wild West Chuck Norris lost a hair and out came Pecos Bill.

Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)

The reason why bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, Chupacabra, and Osama Bin Laden are hiding is because they owe Chuck Norris a dime.

Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)

The reason why Jay Leno's chin is so big is because Chick Norris roundhoused kicked him in the back of the head.

Rated 2.82/5 (17 Votes)

Death doesn't kill people he hires Chick Norris to do it for him.

Rated 2.28/5 (18 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't own a car, what ever he needs comes to him out of fear.

Rated 2.59/5 (17 Votes)

Chuck Norris's car doesn't run on gasoline, it runs on the blood of his victims because there's an endless supply of it.

Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)

Ever heard of a man who touched Chuck Norris' beard???......... niether have i.

Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)

Of the past two thousand years of human history, there was only two hundred years of peace.. why?? because Chuck Norris stopped by for a visit.

Rated 3.33/5 (18 Votes)

There is no cartoon drawing of Chuck Norris, because the pencil was force to break itself by Chuck Norris.

Rated 1.29/5 (24 Votes)
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