Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris once forced a word to rhyme with "orange.".
Rated 4.07/5 (123 Votes)
Tony Montana's little friend was his gun. Chuck Norris's little friend is his right foot. It's no contest as to which is better.
Rated 3.5/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris sees in all spectrums, especially ultra-violent light.
Rated 3.73/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris considers "badass" an insult to his ability.
Rated 2.31/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris once found a hay in a needlestack.
Rated 4/5 (33 Votes)
Chuck Norris once bet someone to shoot an apple off his head with a shotgun. He was unharmed.
Rated 3.79/5 (14 Votes)
Michael Phelps was swimming away from Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris once won a haiku contest. He spoke 3 syllables.
Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris once won $10,000,000 in a Vegas blackjack tournament using half of a Pokemon card.
Rated 3.83/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the reason Rambo has scars.
Rated 4/5 (43 Votes)
Chuck Norris is an incredible lawyer. He's won every case simply because you DON'T argue with Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.93/5 (15 Votes)
One time when out in the Wild West Chuck Norris lost a hair and out came Pecos Bill.
Rated 3.5/5 (16 Votes)
The reason why bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, Chupacabra, and Osama Bin Laden are hiding is because they owe Chuck Norris a dime.
Rated 3.43/5 (14 Votes)
The reason why Jay Leno's chin is so big is because Chick Norris roundhoused kicked him in the back of the head.
Rated 2.82/5 (17 Votes)
Death doesn't kill people he hires Chick Norris to do it for him.
Rated 2.28/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't own a car, what ever he needs comes to him out of fear.
Rated 2.59/5 (17 Votes)
Chuck Norris's car doesn't run on gasoline, it runs on the blood of his victims because there's an endless supply of it.
Rated 3.42/5 (12 Votes)
Ever heard of a man who touched Chuck Norris' beard???.........
niether have i.
Rated 3.25/5 (20 Votes)
Of the past two thousand years of human history, there was only two hundred years of peace.. why?? because Chuck Norris stopped by for a visit.
Rated 3.33/5 (18 Votes)
There is no cartoon drawing of Chuck Norris, because the pencil was force to break itself by Chuck Norris.
Rated 1.29/5 (24 Votes)