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Chuck Norris is 69 in human years. He's infinity in Chuck Norris years.

Rated 3.31/5 (16 Votes)

Kryptonite kills Superman. Chuck Norris kills Kryptonite.

Rated 3.7/5 (20 Votes)

The Earth does not revolve around the sun. It rotates and revolves to accomodate Chuck Norris's travel patterns.

Rated 3.2/5 (15 Votes)

When Chuck Norris's computer crashes, Bill Gates attempts suicide.

Rated 3.71/5 (24 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in line. People line up to meet Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.86/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris does not use a parachute when he jumps out of an airplane. They only slow him down.

Rated 3.84/5 (25 Votes)

Chuck Norris solved Rubiks Cube holding it with one hand. After he completed it, all Rubik's cubes around the world were solved.

Rated 3.09/5 (23 Votes)

Chuck Norris can suck an ice cube through a straw.

Rated 3.15/5 (13 Votes)

Siskel and Ebert once disagreed on a Chuck Norris film. Where is Siskel?

Rated 2.82/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris's car doesn't need gas. It runs on fear.

Rated 3.32/5 (22 Votes)

An NBA player can dunk a basketball. Chuck Noriss can dunk an NBA basketball player.

Rated 2.58/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris drinks coffee to help him sleep.

Rated 2.65/5 (20 Votes)

Had Chuck Norris been on Titanic, it never would have sank. Chuck Norris would have delivered a round-house kick to the iceberg.

Rated 3.65/5 (17 Votes)

When Chuck Norris does a handstand, he is holding the world.

Rated 3.16/5 (19 Votes)

Chuck Norris smokes an entire cigarette in one drag.

Rated 2.82/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris doesnt SCUBA dive. He can breathe under water.

Rated 2.92/5 (13 Votes)

Chuck Norris forecast: cloudy with a 90% chance of pain.

Rated 3.97/5 (29 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the only human visible from the moon.

Rated 2.29/5 (21 Votes)

A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick can force AIDS to dissapear.

Rated 2.6/5 (15 Votes)

Chuck Norris gets to the center of a Tootsie Pop in one lick.

Rated 4.06/5 (34 Votes)
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