Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris FC'd Through The Fire And Flames on Expert mode with an NES controller.
Rated 3.86/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris knows why kids love cinnamon toast crunch.
Rated 3.57/5 (28 Votes)
Time flys when Chuck Norris tells it to.
Rated 3.38/5 (24 Votes)
Kids make snow angels..... Chuck Norris makes body spots.
Rated 3.05/5 (21 Votes)
The square root of Chuck Norris is a roundhouse kick.
Rated 3.9/5 (20 Votes)
The universe is expanding to escape Chuck Norris. So far it has shown no results.
Rated 3.38/5 (16 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't get the crap scared out of him-----the crap gets scared out of Chuck Norris.
Rated 2.62/5 (21 Votes)
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
Rated 4/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented water.
Rated 2.55/5 (20 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now.".
Rated 4.08/5 (26 Votes)
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this “a slow Tuesday.”.
Rated 4.11/5 (45 Votes)
Chuck Norris wasn't born, he just decided to start living.
Rated 3.45/5 (22 Votes)
Before bed Chuck Norris does 900 push-ups and repeadetly punches himself in the face until he falls asleep.
Rated 3.33/5 (24 Votes)
Chuck Norris has no middle name because nothing gets between Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.09/5 (32 Votes)
Using a calculator, Chuck Norris can get a sum of 2 by combining 1 and 1 with a minus sign.
Rated 2.63/5 (27 Votes)
Chuck Norris can steal home plate. From 2nd base.
Rated 3.88/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris can go UP Niagra Falls in a wooden barrel.
Rated 3.13/5 (15 Votes)
When Chuck Norris shoots a load he puts a rocket launcher to shame.
Rated 3.28/5 (25 Votes)
Chuck Norris' hair isn't gray. It shines.
Rated 2.61/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his porn.
Rated 3.77/5 (39 Votes)