Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Chuck Norris CAN hear you now.
Rated 3.77/5 (13 Votes)
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, backwards.
Rated 4.13/5 (30 Votes)
Chuck Norris once took a deep breath in Miami, and the next day Hurricane Katrina began.
Rated 2.83/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so mexican he hopped the boarder twise.
Rated 2.05/5 (20 Votes)
The reason why all the dinosaurs are all extinct is because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.
Rated 4.06/5 (16 Votes)
Warning: the shortest distance between you and Chuck Norris is ANY distance.
Rated 4.05/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris stole the cookie from the cookie jar...and if you value your life, you'll let him eat in peace.
Rated 4.12/5 (345 Votes)
Chuck Norris isn't funny...stop laughing.
Rated 2.44/5 (27 Votes)
Forrest Gump was running from Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.07/5 (44 Votes)
Some fight without their shirt to help them punch. Chuck Norris wears no pants to help him kick.
Rated 3.95/5 (22 Votes)
Chuck Norris not only invented the Bermuda Triangle, he enforces it.
Rated 3.76/5 (29 Votes)
Chuck Norris is the only person who can move all his luggage to the car in less than one trip.
Rated 3.67/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin' about.
Rated 3.6/5 (10 Votes)
Resident Evil tried to star Chuck Norris as a main character, but decided against it because the Wesker fights would be too easy.
Rated 3.4/5 (15 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a condom because theres no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.1/5 (684 Votes)
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Rated 3.57/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Rated 3.88/5 (32 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Rated 4/5 (29 Votes)
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.74/5 (23 Votes)
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.
Rated 4.12/5 (49 Votes)