Browse Through Our Collection of 5,191 Chuck Norris Jokes
Browse through our full list of Chuck Norris Facts...
(listed from oldest to newest)
Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a Chuck Norris documentary.
Rated 3.95/5 (20 Votes)
The grass is always greener on the other side, if Chuck Norris is there then it's probably just filled with blood and tears.
Rated 3.79/5 (19 Votes)
Chuck Norris expected the Spanish Inquisition.
Rated 2.93/5 (14 Votes)
Chuck Norris's whole life is a "Thats What She Said" joke.
Rated 3.09/5 (22 Votes)
A picture is worth a thousand words. A picture of Chuck Norris is worth a thousand kicks to the face.
Rated 3.71/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris put the "Chuck" in Norris, Too bad it isnt spelled Chunoris.
Rated 2.56/5 (18 Votes)
Chuck Norris was told his urine was positive for steriods. Chuck Norris responded with a laugh and said were do you think steroids come from?
Rated 3.58/5 (31 Votes)
Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood could a wood Chuck Chuck if a wood Chuck could Chuck wood? Chuck Norris bellowed, HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS. He then proceded to tear her throat out with his hand. Clutching her throat he yelled dont f*** with Chuck. 3 years later he relized the irony of his stamement and laughed so hard everyone within a 100 mile radius went deaf.
Rated 3.25/5 (36 Votes)
Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. The hairs on his chin jump off from fear.
Rated 3.65/5 (23 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not laugh, he Chuckles.
Rated 3.76/5 (34 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not have a reflection because a mirror cannot possibly re-create an image so perfect.
Rated 3.62/5 (21 Votes)
Chuck Norris does not have the pleasure of wearing underwear. Underwear has the pleasure of wearing him.
Rated 3.13/5 (16 Votes)
The only person to give Chuck Norris a run for his money in a fight was Mr. Rogers in a blood stained sweater.
Rated 3.74/5 (19 Votes)
In a battle between Godzilla 2000 and the Kraken, Chuck Norris would be having a Bar-B-Q.
Rated 2.58/5 (12 Votes)
Chuck once drove a Ford truck off of a cliff. The truck exploded leaving Chuck flying in the sky with a disgusted look on his face. He just proved that it was not Ford tough.
Rated 3.23/5 (31 Votes)
Chuck Norris is so tough that he doesn't go coo coo for coco puffs.
Rated 2.9/5 (21 Votes)
The answer to population control is Chuck Norris.
Rated 3.29/5 (21 Votes)
The answer to global warming is Chuck Norris giving a roundhouse kick to the sun's face.
Rated 2.83/5 (18 Votes)
The reason a major asteroid hasn't hit the earth for thousands of years is because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks them just before they strike earth.
Rated 2.94/5 (17 Votes)
The earth isn't getting smaller, Chuck Norris is getting bigger.
Rated 3.24/5 (17 Votes)