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Chuck Norris Jokes - Facts

Here are the 40 newest Chuck Norris facts submitted by our visitors.

Chuck Norris spies on the NSA.

Rated 1/5 (3 Votes)

Kids read comics about Superman. Superman reads comics about Chuck Norris.

Rated 4/5 (1 Vote)

The early bird might get the worm but Chuck Norris gets the early bird.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris only knows what pain is because he inflicts it.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris tells the sun when to set.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Some people link everything to Kevin Bacon. They've never heard of Chuck Norris.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with Slenderman..... He won.

Rated 1.5/5 (2 Votes)

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris let live.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris always gets a 21 while playing blackjack no matter how many times he "hits".

Rated 1.82/5 (11 Votes)

Chuck Norris figured out the ending to The Sixth Sense while the opening credits were still on the screen.

Rated 1.57/5 (7 Votes)

Jack Nicholson tells Chuck Norris that he "CAN handle the truth".

Rated 2.4/5 (5 Votes)

A Zombie once bit Chuck Norris. He was immediatly healed back to life.. Then Chuck Norris killed him.

Rated 2.67/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris once hosted American's Most Wanted. Every wanted man on the planet turned himself in before the first commercial break.

Rated 3.86/5 (14 Votes)

Chuck Norris once skipped a rock across the Potomac River, which landed in Washington, as the Lincoln Monument.

Rated 2.2/5 (5 Votes)

Chuck Norris can hold his breath longer than air.

Rated 2.5/5 (4 Votes)

Chuck Norris told The Fox what to say.

Rated 2.25/5 (4 Votes)

The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake is when he thought he made a mistake.

Rated 2.14/5 (7 Votes)

All Chuck Norris jokes are rated five stars. because the contain the words Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.78/5 (9 Votes)

Chuck Norris's hand is the only thing that can beat a royal flush.

Rated 4/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris once killed 100 enemy soldiers with a twig and the twig did not break.

Rated 1.5/5 (2 Votes)

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect4 with only 3 moves.

Rated 2.67/5 (3 Votes)

Chuck Norris can play World of Warcraft with an NES controller.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

The google easter egg "Chuck Norris" dosent work anymore because there was too many fatalities.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Godzilla is Chuck Norris's pet lizard.

Rated 1.5/5 (2 Votes)

If Chuck Norris and The Most Interesting Man In The World had a baby it would look like Chuck Norris.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Chuck Norris and Hitler were at a diner having a conversation when Chuck Norris says " I hate juice ". Hitler misunderstood him.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Google was created because Chuck Norris does not have time to answer everyone.

Rated 1/5 (1 Vote)

Zeus retired when Chuck Norris arrived on earth.

Rated 1/5 (2 Votes)

Mother nature checks with Chuck Norris before she can strike.

Rated 3.37/5 (57 Votes)

Chuck eats chick-fil-a on Sunday.

Rated 2.27/5 (30 Votes)

On the seventh day, God rested. But Chuck Norris worked out.

Rated 3.03/5 (38 Votes)

It took Chuck Norris 1/2 a lick to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

Rated 3.68/5 (63 Votes)

Chuck Norris is the reason Ninjas hide.

Rated 3.17/5 (36 Votes)

Chuck Norris can turbocharge an electric car.

Rated 3.13/5 (39 Votes)

Chuck Norris can see black people on Friends.

Rated 2.32/5 (25 Votes)

Any Card game Chuck Norris plays is no longer a game of chance but a game of certainty.

Rated 3.19/5 (31 Votes)

Pedro voted for Chuck Norris.

Rated 2.69/5 (29 Votes)

Chuck Norris possesses demons.

Rated 3.04/5 (26 Votes)

Chuck Norris alarm is always silent.

Rated 2.72/5 (32 Votes)

Sigmund Freud was talking to Chuck Norris about his theories of psychology. Withoit thinking, Freud asked Chuck Norris if he was afraid of anything. Chuck Norris looked at him and said, "Excuse me???" Thus the term "Fruedian Slip" became a psychological term.

Rated 3.25/5 (32 Votes)