All of Chuck Norris' chromosomes are male.

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Every year Chuck Norris celebrates Thanksgiving by eating a pilgrim.

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Chuck Norris plays four square with a bowling ball.

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Chuck Norris favorite color is Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris would use guns,if he wasnt aready loaded with a roundhouse 47.

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Chuck Norris doesn't breath air. He holds air hostage.

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When Chuck Norris breaks wind it can't be fixed.

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Chuck Norris only skydived once, he thought the United States only needed one Grand Canyon.

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Chuck Norris' pencils sharpen themselves.

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Chuck Norris can pump up a basket ball with a straw, with his lips tied behind his back.

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Chuck Norris can unring a bell.

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Chuck Norris gets 7 shots out of a revolver.

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Lightning does not strike Chuck Norris. It respectfully asks permission to touch him.

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What would Chuck Norris do for a klondike bar? Nothing... and still get one.

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Chuck Norris makes money grow on trees.

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Chuck Norris ran so fast around the world, that he ran into himself.

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The best way to prevent hyperinflation is not basing currency on the gold standard. Preventing hyperinflation is best done by basing currency on the Chuck Norris standard.

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If you slide a picture of Chuck Norris into an ATM, money falls out automatically.

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The videos of global warming's effect on glaciers is caused by Chuck Norris staring at them.

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Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is the absence of Chuck Norris.

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If Chuck Norris has 10 bananas, and you take away 7, he still has 10.

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Chuck Norris can erase permanent marker.

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The Titans remember Chuck Norris.

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When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

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Why is health care so expensive? Chuck Norris is sending thousands of people to the hospital everyday.

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Turn the other cheek. Unless you're turning it to Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can find a number in the phone book that's not listed in the phone book.

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Chuck Norris took the road less traveled AND the other road... at the same time.

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Chuck Norris doesn't dance around the question. Questions dance around Chuck Norris.

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Bushes beat around Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris's toiletpaper is made of cheese graters.

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Chuck Norris does not need a weapon. He is one.

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Chuck Norris can slow down time by just looking at a clock and flexing.

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Chuck Norris has 3 birthdays a year.

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After meeting with Chuck Norris, iron man was referred to as the tin man!

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When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

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If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.

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The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

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