While playing golf, Chuck Norris can get a hole in Zero.

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The Moon revolves around earth because it doesn't want to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

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Barbed wire used to be regular wire until Chuck Norris starred at it and it Cringed in fear.

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The Jaws of Life was invented from Chuck Norris' baby teeth.

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Chuck Norris can write the entire book " War and Peace" on a StickyNote.

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Chuck Norris can drive a car on cinder blocks.

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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

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Chuck Norris hides cheeseburgers in his beard to hand out as last meals.

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Chuck Norris Went for a jog last week.. He should be back any minute..

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Chuck Norris doesn't delete you from MySpace He deletes you from life!

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Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in a fight; HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAOHOHOHHOAHAHAHOHOHAHAHAOHH... ahhh... Gets me every time.

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They say you never hear the Chuck-induced roundhouse kick that breaks your face.

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Theres no such thing as lumber companys anymore, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicks the trees.

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? n No one ever dared to ask him.

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Chuck Norris can turn back time simply by looking at a clock & flexing.

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People survive Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick because he was just warming up.

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Chuck Norris can pea soup.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sit on santa's lap santa sits on Chuck Norris's lap.

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To Chuck Norris.. Biznitch is a real word.

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A black hole cant escape Chuck Norris.

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Jack Bauer may be able to save the world in 24 hrs. but Chuck Norris can do it in 23.

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Chuck Norris hates halloween because no one tricks Chuck Norris and he doesn't like to give anything except a roundhouse to temple.

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Chuck Norris' dog knows its not bacon.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use post-it notes: he uses people.

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Oh yes... Chuck Norris DID go "there".

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Language was created for people to warn others of Chuck Norris' wrath.

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God created multipule dimensions to support the sheer power of one Chuck Norris.

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The Roundhouse kick is Chuck Norris’ second most deadly move; no one dared to ask about the first.

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When on Google.com if you type "Find Chuch Norris" and click im feeling lucky your result will be, "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you." (True).

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'Chuck Norris' spelled backwards...would still be 'Chuck Norris'.

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Diamonds aren't really a natural substance. Chuck Norris was just juggling coal.

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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it. Chuck Norris will hear it.

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What do Viagra and thermonuclear weapons have in common? They're both made from Chuck Norris' blood.

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Chuck Norris can freeze things with a flamethrower.

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