People survive Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick because he was just warming up.

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Chuck Norris can pea soup.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sit on santa's lap santa sits on Chuck Norris's lap.

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To Chuck Norris.. Biznitch is a real word.

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A black hole cant escape Chuck Norris.

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Jack Bauer may be able to save the world in 24 hrs. but Chuck Norris can do it in 23.

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Chuck Norris hates halloween because no one tricks Chuck Norris and he doesn't like to give anything except a roundhouse to temple.

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Chuck Norris' dog knows its not bacon.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use post-it notes: he uses people.

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Oh yes... Chuck Norris DID go "there".

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Language was created for people to warn others of Chuck Norris' wrath.

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God created multipule dimensions to support the sheer power of one Chuck Norris.

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The Roundhouse kick is Chuck Norris’ second most deadly move; no one dared to ask about the first.

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When on Google.com if you type "Find Chuch Norris" and click im feeling lucky your result will be, "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you." (True).

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'Chuck Norris' spelled backwards...would still be 'Chuck Norris'.

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Diamonds aren't really a natural substance. Chuck Norris was just juggling coal.

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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it. Chuck Norris will hear it.

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What do Viagra and thermonuclear weapons have in common? They're both made from Chuck Norris' blood.

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Chuck Norris can freeze things with a flamethrower.

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Chuck Norris created senior ditch day.

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Chuck Norris doesn't tell Yo Mamma jokes. Yo Mamma jokes tell Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. Dead people see Chuck Norris.

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If you have a cow, and Chuck Norris has a pig, your cow is smaller than Chuck Norris' pig.

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A slim jim snaps into Chuck Norris.

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One man once told Chuck Norris he couldnt smoke here. Chuck Norris round house kicked the man in the face and used his guts as a bong.

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CNN was once called CN ... Chuck Norris didn't like this...

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Souljia Boy's new song is called , "Crank Dat Chuck Norris".

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Chuck Norris can get a tan at night.

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Chuck Norris can ask what year was the war of 1812 and not look stupid.

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Chuck Norris can play soccer with his hands.

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The reason blood is red and not blue when you bleed is not because of the oxygen in the air but is because Chuck Norris loves the color red.

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The reason people make facts about Chuck Norris and not jokes is because Chuck Norris doesn't like humor.

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Chuck Norris's dog can see in color.

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Chuck Norris can choke you with his mind.

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Chuck Norris can handle TWO shotguns.

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Chuck Norris can play a chord on the piano with his tongue...

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