Chuck Norris can hit you with a parked car.

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Chuck Norris can make an armless man tapout.

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Chuck Norris found page 404.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. when life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he hand them back and asks for a lime. then he finds someone who's life has given them salt, and another who's got taquilla, and they throw a party, 'cuz Chuck Norris is awesome like that.

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Chuck Norris can un bake bread.

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Chuck Norris used a blowtorch and a monkey wrench to masterbate.

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Blinking is a waste of time for Chuck.

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Humpty dumpty once sat on a while. Then Chuck Norris showed up...

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When Chuck Norris farts, a new universe is made.

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Ninjas can dodge rain drops, but Chuck Norris can dodge air.

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Chuck Norris found the Lost Weekend.

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For every bad Chuck Norris joke submitted, Chuck literally kills a kitten. However a silver lining, Chuck Norris is feeding Japan with this practice.

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Soilent Green is Chucks favorite food.

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Hamburger Helper is really just how Chuck disposes of his enemies corpses.

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Chuck Norris is a level 50 Badass.

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Chuck Norris has a black belt in Awesome.

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Chuck Norris once decided to test the Cats have 9 lives theory, in conclusion one roundhouse kick has enough power to take 10 lives, at once.

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Osama bin Laden is dead! In other news Chuck Norris just returned from his vacation in Pakistan.

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Chuck Norris came back from past the point of no return.

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Chuck Norris can open a bank account ... with his bare hands!

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Chuck Norris visited North Korea and was allowed freedom of speech and full access to the Internet.

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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish Chinese.

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Stonehenge was made from Chuck Norris playing jenga.

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Chuck Norris TV is powered by human blood, and he watches tv 24/7.

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Chuck Norris climbed Mount Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he spent building a snowman at the bottom.

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While other children were playing in sand, Chuck was playing in concrete.

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Chuch Norris can find the circumfrince of a triangle.

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Q: Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? A: He had his reasons- and you'll drop the subject if ya know what's good for you.

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Chuck Norris can trip an amputee.

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Chuck Norris's words don't hurt.... they kill.

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Chuck Norris can ride a bike with no handlebars.

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Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was a kid: there were no survivors.

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Ghosts sit around campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

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Chuck Norris knows every single Chuck Norris Joke.

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Chuck Norris uses his beard to grate cheese onto his nachos.

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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a rabbit so hard it crapped an egg. Hence, Easter exists.

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Chuck Norris does not shake hands. he makes them tremble.

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Chuck Norris' universal remote really does control the universe.

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Every time an angel dies, Chuck Norris gets dinner.

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Chuck Norris can go right and left at the same time.

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